Of course, the South African from KwaZulu-Natal tells it in all seriousness. And who knows, he may even be telling the truth about having visited heaven four times, so far. The first time was in 1998, and subsequent visits were made in 2004, 2006 and 2008. It all started in 1993, when a white man (an angel, apparently) paid him a visit and told him he was needed in heaven. And now, after several visits, he's drawing a map to make sure the rest of us 'unlucky' ones get what he's talking about. But it's not the fact that he took a few vacations to heaven or even that he's drawing a map that amuses me. It's more to do with the stuff he says he's seen and done there. According to Mthembu, there are 11 heavens in all, and he was taken to the fifth one, Crista, first. It was there, in a city called Sharmoy, that he claims to have met Jesus. The main heaven is Salem, he says, where God's temple is located. God is apparently in his youth, and of a Grayis...