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Showing posts from March 2, 2013

20m for 5 children

A man and his wife had four kidz, a Declaration was made that any couple with five children will recieve a reward of 20million from the government. The man told his wife not worry as he was going to bring his daughter from his Girlfriend to complete the other four kidz. He came back with his girls child n discovered that it was one, one child that was left in his house, when he asked the wife what happened to the other three, she said"their father came and pick them aswell, the man fainted...... ....... .......

JOYSTICK

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.. ."You all have obsessions ,"he observed. To the first mother, Mary, he said,"You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."He turned to the second Mom, Ann:"Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."He turns to the third Mom, Joyce:"Your obsession is alcohol. This too manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers."Come on, Joystick, we' re leaving!"

6 IN 6 WAYS

A young boy met a very rich business man and asked him"sir, what is the secret of your success?" and he replied, "boy, you have to use your number 6 in 6 ways". The boy was so surprised and asked him "sir, how in 6ways?" he further replied "I only do business 6 times in a year, 1. I sell bags of rice during d xmas season, 2. I sell children clothes duringchildren's day celebration, 3. I sell poultry during the easter celebration period, 4. I sell condoms on valetine day, 5. I sell indian hemp on Bob marley's rememberance day. So, you see why i am successful?" the boy asked "sir, you did not tell me the 6th" he then smiled and said " 6. I go on VACATION" the boy asked"VACATION? To where?" The man replied " yes I normally on vacation go to jail"

Cristiano Ronaldo And Lionel Messi Rule The World, But Not The U.S.

Real Madrid and FC Barcelona square off for the sixth time this season on Saturday in the latest version of the  Clasico . The match pits the widely regarded two best players in the world against each other inCristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi. Most soccer fans give Messi the edge, and his four straight Player of the Year awards offer plenty of ammunition for his supporters. Off the pitch, the two are neck and neck when it comes to marketability. They are the biggest stars in the world’s most popular sport. Ronaldo (55 million) and Messi (43 million) have by far the most Facebook fans of any athlete. They are global icons who ranked No. 9 (Ronaldo) and No. 11 (Messi) in our June look at the world’s highest-paid athletes. Forbes estimated Messi’s annual endorsement earnings at $19 million in June from Adidas, PepsiCo, Electronic Arts, Herbalife and others. His total earnings were $39 million. Messi has since added to his endorsement portfolio with Turkish Airways and Procter &

14 Things Successful People Do On Weekends

Spencer Rascoff is only 37. Yet, the Harvard grad and father of three has already accomplished so much. He co-founded Hotwire.com and served as a VP for Expedia; he held the roles of CFO, vice president of marketing and COO at Zillow; and in 2008, Rascoff was promoted to chief executive of the popular real estate information site. Wondering how the Zillow CEO has achieved and maintained his success? His weekend routine has something to do with it. “My weekends are an important time to unplug from the day-to-day and get a chance to think more deeply about my company and my industry,” Rascoff says. “Even when I’m technically not working, I’m always processing in the background and thinking about the company. Weekends are a great chance to reflect and be more introspective about bigger issues.” He says he always spends weekends with his family. “Even if I’m on the road on a Friday and have to be back in that same city the following week, I always come home no matter what.” La

BOYFRIEND KILLS GIRLFRIEND NA LOVE BE THAT

This is certainly not the best of times for the Bournes’ family which is currently mourning following the alleged killing of Olayinde Bournes’, by her boyfriend,last Thursday, in Aguda Ogba area of Lagos. The deceased, a 22-year-old par time student of the Lagos State Polytechnic,  was  allegedly beaten to death by her boyfriend over an unknown reason. Crime Guard gathered that the 200 level Business Administration student had gone to bid her boyfriend, Abuchi Cyril, 24, goodbye , as the latter was  reportedly planning to travel to Malasia next day (Friday), unknown to her that would be her final sojourn on earth. Although it could not be ascertained what transpired between the love birds behind closed doors but it  was gathered that rather than being entertained in his parents’ apartment located on number 25 Shorimade Street, Aguda Ogba, Abuchi took Olayinde to a neighbours apartment, who at that time  was  away. But apprehension, set in, after several calls on Olayinde’s p

LASU STUDENTS SCARED OFF REVENGE

Students of the Lagos State University, Ojo, on Friday expressed fears over likely revenge attacks, following the killing of hip-hop musician, Damilola Olaniyan aka Damino Damoche. This is just as the Lagos State Police Command said it had not made any arrests over Thursday’s killing of the upcoming artiste by two gunmen a few metres from one of the school’s gates. Some of the students, who did not want to be named, told one of our correspondents at the school campus on Friday that they feared that trouble might be coming. Some of the students alleged that Damoche was a member of a campus cult and may have been killed by members of a rival gang. There was an unusual calm in the school campus on Friday as Saturday PUNCH gathered that students stayed away from the institution. A female student said many of her colleagues fled the campus with their bags after Jumat prayers on Friday. She said, “Damoche was a 400-Level student of Business Administration. He was waiting for

We had hoped our brother would return home alive –Family of slain engineer

On Monday, February 25, 2013, tension was high in the family of 30-year-old Oluwatoyin Akanbi. He had been missing for six days. The family had become apprehensive. Fear of what Oluwatoyin might be going through had overtaken them.   They had published a phone number through which anybody who had any information about Oluwatoyin’s whereabout could reach his family. Oluwatoyin, who left for his Lekki office in his Toyota Highlander Sports Utility Vehicle early morning on Tuesday, didn’t get to his office that day and didn’t return home. He was declared missing.   Prank calls were many, a family member, who identified herself simply as Ekineyo, told our correspondent. “Many of them called to say they had found a vehicle which matched the description of Toyin’s SUV. Many of them even said they had information about his whereabouts. We later realised that they were all lying,” she said. But out of the blues, a resident of Ifo in Ogun State called and told them the body of a ma