If you are a man with a cheating girlfriend, there is a chance that your relationship can be salvaged, but it is also possible that you should end it for good.
Healthy relationships are founded on mutual trust and respect. When infidelity enters a relationship, the trust and respect are fractured, if not broken. For some couples, infidelity can break the trust and respect in their relationship for good, and many relationships cannot be salvaged in the aftermath of an affair. Men often rely heavily on their pride and their masculinity, and when a woman cheats on her boyfriend, he feels emasculated and insecure about himself. It can be difficult for men to move forward with a woman who has strayed from the relationship, regardless of what the circumstances were. If you are a man who's been cheated on by his girlfriend, here's some advice:
Don't let it Ruin Your Ego
While you may be devastated that the woman you cared about was unfaithful, you should not take responsibility for her mistake. Whether or not the two of you were having relationship problems prior to her indiscretion is irrelevant. If she was unhappy, she should have broken up with you, not cheated on you. Cheating should never be excused as a rational approach to dealing with other problems within a relationship. Don't let your self-esteem take a nosedive over this. Your girlfriend didn't cheat because you weren't good enough - she cheated because she made a decision to do the wrong thing. Even if you do decide that you are going to be able to forgive your girlfriend and give your relationship another chance, you should make sure that she understands that what she did was hurtful and way out of line.
Get the Details
While you may not want to hear about what your girlfriend did behind your back, getting the details on the situation can help you to assess whether or not there is a possibility for a future between you and your girlfriend. If she kissed someone while she was out drinking and dancing at her friend's bachelorette party, that's much different than if you discover that she has been sleeping with her co-worker on her lunch breaks for the past six months. If you and your girlfriend are in a fairly new relationship, and she kissed someone at a club, you might be able to get over that, especially if she came clean on her own and expressed true remorse. If she's actually been dating and sleeping with someone behind your back, then you should absolutely leave this girl. She has no respect for you, your feelings, or your relationship. Plus, she really cannot be trusted and she clearly has severe commitment issues.
Gauge Her Reaction
Honesty is always the best policy, even if it means being honest about dishonesty. If your girlfriend comes to you apologetically and tells you what she's done, that shows one of two things: either she wants to tell you what she's done because she wants you to break up with her, or she wants to tell you what she's done because she is hoping that she can salvage your relationship and make up for her mistakes. Either way, at least you've gotten the truth right from the horse's mouth. You should be able to decipher what her intention was in telling you just from the way she broaches the subject and handles the conversation. If she is sad and apologetic, she is probably sincere. If she seems very matter-of-fact and tries to justify and defend her behaviors, chances are that she is not looking to work things out between the two of you. Generally, though, hearing it from her is much better than if you catch her in the act or if you hear about her infidelity from someone else. Ultimately, you've just got to follow your heart. If you believe that she deserves a second chance and you also believe that you can really give her one, then there is nothing wrong with you for trying to save your relationship. However, if you know deep down that you will never be able to forgive her or move past this, just make a clean break from the relationship - and move on.
Comments
Post a Comment