Skip to main content

How Do You Convince Your Cheating Girlfriend That She’s Really In Love With You?

By
Due to situations I faced of recent and the e-mail I got from a reader I decide to post this, sincerely speaking there are a lot of babes around but only few is ready for what I call true love, I will not say more to bore you but to just read an email Dan sent me.
Dear Michael,
Have had the most exciting relationship in years with a girl named Ola. We truly have/had a wonderful relationship that was progressing magically. But Ola had her heart broken 3 months before by a prior love named Chris. After seeing that Ola had moved on and was apparently SO happy, he began calling, stopping by, texting, emailing, etc. Ola told me about it but after some time she became confused and felt like she now had strong feelings for the both of us.
What’s the right thing to do in this situation? Pull back and give her space with the risk of losing her forever (or at least until this relationship fails again with Chris) or fight like hell to win/keep her in my favor? There are other dating "experts" out there that go from one extreme (i.e. NO contact for a month and make her miss you) to others that recommend the flowers, cards, phone calls, compliments, reminders of special times. Right now, Ola is on the fence and cries everytime she sees me but seems to be gravitating toward him. What is the right thing to do? I AM MISERABLE!!!

Dan

Dear Dan,

Ola doesn’t love you.

Hate to be the one to tell you, but, well, you did ask.

And even if she does love you – even if your relationship was as great as you said it was – you’re clearly ignoring some pretty big stuff.

Namely, that Ola is a terrible girlfriend.

Now don’t get all defensive on me. I’m sure she’s a charmer. But it seems to me that there are a few things that are supposed to differentiate a girlfriend. Here’s a very simple list I came up with:

  • A girlfriend is committed to you.
  • A girlfriend tries to make you happy.
  • A girlfriend makes you feel special.
  • A girlfriend spends a lot of time with you.
  • A girlfriend sleeps with you.
  • A girlfriend allows you to feel vulnerable and safe at the same time.

Okay, so if that’s what a good girlfriend does, let’s look at what a bad girlfriend does. Just for the hell of it, let’s name her “Ola”.

A bad girlfriend…

  • Responds repeatedly to emails, calls, and texts by an ex-boyfriend.
  • Maintains feelings for an ex-boyfriend while she’s supposedly in a committed relationship.
  • Makes her ex-boyfriend seem like more of an attractive option than her current boyfriend.
  • Cries every time she sees her current boyfriend.

Are you seeing it yet, Dan?

You have a bad girlfriend….

This doesn’t mean she’s an evil person. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t have redeeming qualities. It doesn’t even mean that you shouldn’t love her. What it does mean is that you must STOP forgiving her for treating you like crap.

As far as how you should proceed? Well, you can’t fight for someone who doesn’t want to be fought for. As DJ EZ Rock said, “It takes two to make a thing go right,” and right now, Ola is making a great case for going solo.

So get this straight: It’s NOT about ignoring her to make her miss you, and it’s DEFINITELY not about flowers, cards, and compliments to win her back.

It’s about one thing, and one thing only.

Walking away with your head held high, and your dignity in tact.

And when Ola finally comes back, you’ll be able to tell her the best possible news that you probably haven’t even considered: you found yourself a real girlfriend, one who treats you the way you deserve.

Good luck.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

DO YOU WANT TO BECOME A MASON IN NIGERIA

By
 After all i have said about this fraternity if you are still interested in becoming a mason there are just simply ways in which you can do that, but inspite of my post i am neither encouraging nor discouraging you all i am doing is just to let you know more about this frat and there's more to come about those who have joined, the so called stars like jay-z, kanye west etc i guess its just 7 simple ways to join and off you go  Are there things you want to accomplish in your life? Are there ways you want to enrich yourself? Do you enjoy being with people you like and respect? As a Freemason, you’ll find friendship and fraternity. You’ll develop life skills like self-confidence, leadership, and effective communication. You’ll learn to work as part of a team  and to better yourself as you help others. Think about taking the first step into becoming a Mason. It is widely thought that one must be invited to become a Freemason or that Freemasonry is so exclusive as to be b...
240 comments
Read more

Microsoft Is About To Leave One-Third Of All Computers Vulnerable To Hacking

By
Hundreds of millions of computers running everything from ATMs to the power grid will be vulnerable to hacking next month when Microsoft stops supporting its old Windows XP operating system. Hackers have been holding onto flaws in Windows XP and waiting to exploit them until after the software giant stops issuing security updates on April 8, experts say. Adam Meyers, vice president of intelligence at Crowdstrike, a cybersecurity firm, said it was “fairly dangerous” to continue using the 12-year-old operating system because after the deadline “victims can’t defend themselves.” “I certainly wouldn't run Windows XP after the 8th," Meyers said in an interview. Microsoft announced six years ago it will no longer provide security patches or technical support for the out-of-date software. Yet about  one-third of computers  around the world -- or about 500 million PCs -- still run Windows XP. On Microsoft’s website , a clock ticks down to next month’s Windows deadline an...
4 comments
Read more