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Barack Obama Celebrates 52nd Anniversary of Creation of Forged Birth Certificate

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Happy belated birthday to Barack Hussein Obama II, who, according to an expertly rendered Democratic National Committee file known as birth-certificate-re-do.jpg turned 52 years old yesterday.

The president celebrated the big five-two by “spending part of the day at the Camp David presidential retreat in Maryland after playing golf yesterday with friends from his Hawaii and Chicago days,” E! News reports. Michelle Obama tweeted a photo of the couple andcaptioned the image: “Happy birthday, Barack! Your hair’s a little grayer, but I love you more than ever.”

Note that this message follows the accepted social metrics for joking about old age on a loved one’s birthday. It is not O.K. to joke about old age on, for instance, a 50th birthday due to actual self-consciousness on the part of the celebrant. It is O.K. to joke about old age on minor birthdays—say, 52—because 52 is not really a Thing. The 55th birthday is tricky because there are no hard and fast rules about good-natured teasing; approaches to the 55th birthday depend on the life circumstances and relative vanity of the particular 55-year-old to be. Barack Obama, president of the United States, is likely professionally and personally secure enough that light mockery about gray hairs or creaky bones or dwindling virility (gross) is fine. Another gentleman, in charge of nothing besides his own Google searches for discreet men’s hair dye products, might not take so kindly to the same sorts of jokes.

Birthdays! We are all very lucky that the best day of the year comes but once a year.

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