Kanye West Reportedly Buys Grenade-Proof S.U.V. for North West (While Carefree Blue Ivy Cruises in Beyoncé-Chauffeured Convertible)

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West alongside a Dartz vehicle.

Mere hours after photographs surfaced of Blue Ivy Carter being chauffeured out of the Hamptons in a vintage, sky-blue Rolls-Royce limousine driven by Beyoncé, we learn that North West, secondary-compass direction/daughter of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, may be getting similarly extravagant means of transport in the near future.

Automobile blog Jalopnik reports that Kanye West has ordered two customized high-performance armored vehicles from Latvia’s Dartz Motorz Company, costing an estimated $1 million a piece. The model that Jalopnik claims West ordered—the Prombron—recently attained notoriety, its Wikipedia page outrageously explains, “because it was originally available in upholstered leather that was made from the foreskin of whale penises.” Vibe notes that the exact model West selected, the Prombron Iron Diamond, is “made to withstand attacks from landmines and rocket-propelled grenade.” A source attempts to explain the purchase to the admittedly dubious tabloid The Daily Star: “Kanye is fully aware that his new family is so high-profile they attract the attention of weirdos and psychopaths. . . . He aims to leave nothing to chance.”

Jalopnik adds that Dartz is the company responsible for creating Sasha Baron Cohen’s understated gold-plated S.U.V. in The Dictator. Our condolences to young North West, on her reported future being transported inside the world’s only vehicle more embarrassing and denoting of an overprotective parent than a minivan.

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